The Call To Worship

In the grand tradition of oversized tomes that demand a special place on your rickety shelf—preferably between an encyclopaedia of obscure fungi and a well-thumbed copy of “How to Grow Your Own Cabbages”—we present to you “The Call to Worship” by the enigmatic D Tait Patterson. Published under the banner of Carey Press, a name that rolls off the tongue like a fine vintage that may or may not be watered down, this book is a must-have for anyone who enjoys unearthing literary curiosities that feel like they fell through a time warp.

Ah, worship! Who among us hasn’t felt a twinge of longing to gather with a motley crew of like-minded individuals, possibly wearing mismatched socks and sipping lukewarm tea, while pondering the great existential questions of the universe? This delightful volume seems to suggest that such gatherings involve more than just idle chit-chat about the weather or the latest gossip on the parish council. Instead, Patterson invites us into a world where the call to worship is not merely a notification that the service is about to begin, but an experience so profound that it could make even the most hardened cynic consider changing their ringtone to a Gregorian chant.

Prepare yourself for a journey that may or may not include the following revelations: the mysterious powers of incense, the almost mystical significance of clapping on the off-beat, and the correct etiquette for communal hymn singing—spoiler alert: no one truly knows the tune to “All Things Bright and Beautiful.” Whimsically adorned with footnotes that may lead you down a rabbit hole of theological trivia or, quite possibly, make you wish you had paid more attention during your last church service, “The Call to Worship” promises to be a cornerstone of any self-respecting bookshelf.

• Learn how to spot a true worshipper versus a mere “cultural attendee” (hint: check the shoe choice).
• Explore the esoteric practice of ’liturgical dance’—yes, it’s a thing, and no, it’s not just a series of awkward movements.
• Delve into awkward anecdotes of parish life that are somehow both relatable and utterly uncomfortable.
• Discover the secret language of church bulletin typos that could lead to accidental excommunications.
• Uncover the truth about why “My Heart Will Go On” was never intended for Sunday services.

As you delve into Patterson’s whimsically earnest prose, you may find yourself questioning whether this is a theological manifesto or a light-hearted guide to navigating the choppy waters of communal spirituality. Perhaps it’s both! But then again, isn’t that the beauty of second-hand literature? It holds a mirror up to life’s absurdity while simultaneously offering a gentle nudge toward self-discovery, all while you try to figure out the difference between sacrilege and sacrament.

Condition: This particular copy has seen better days—its spine is as creaky as a church pew on a Sunday morning, and the pages are adorned with the occasional coffee ring that suggests at least one reader was indeed deep in contemplation (or perhaps simply distracted by the aroma of a freshly brewed cup). Edges may be frayed, and the cover is a delightful mix of faded glory and well-loved wear, much like the last vestiges of a once-vibrant hymn that no one remembers the words to anymore.

So, if you’re in the market for something that will not only provide food for thought but also raise a few eyebrows during your next book club meeting, “The Call to Worship” is your ticket to the quirky side of spiritual exploration. Snag it while you can, and remember, there’s no better way to elevate your literary conversation than with a good dose of irony, available at Crappy Old Books.

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